Relearning Discernment: Seeking God’s Will or God’s Desire?

Over the years, I have sat with many sincere Christian people searching for God’s will.

That search often surfaces in seasons of transition: the move from college into a career, a sudden job change, etc. It is a natural longing. Who would not want to know God’s will?

In my personal experience, the question about “What’s next?” came from shifting from one stage of life into another. From actively leading live transformational seminars to the reality of being 78 years old with all the limitations that brings. Fortunately, Zoom made it possible to continue to help people overcome blocks to their flourishing life.

Yet, if we are honest, most of us are not simply seeking God’s will for the sake of the boldly starting in present moment. More often, we are looking for a guarantee that the path we choose will turn out well. We are asking for safety. We want to control the outcome rather than trust the unfolding - a Divine Guarantee.

Fortunately, as I listened to several people wrestle with these questions, I remembered a piece of wisdom Andrew Marr once shared with me. He suggested that our relationship with the Divine can deepen significantly when we shift from trying to do God’s will to seeking and sharing in God’s desire.

“…we can deepen our relationship with God by shifting the emphasis from trying to do God’s will to sharing God’s desire….Thinking and praying in terms of God’s desire is attractive in the sense that it opens up a collaborative relationship with God.” - Andrew Marr, OSB

At first glance, it may seem like just a word game since they would be the same thing. If God desires it, surely God wills it. And yet the reframing changes how we breathe, how we pray, and how we relate.

The phrase God’s will can carry the weight of something imposed on us, as though we are being handed marching orders that we must simply obey. God’s desire sounds different. It feels less like command and more like invitation. It draws us into intimacy with mystery.

To share in God’s desire is not an easier path, nor is it a way of avoiding responsibility. In fact, I find it more demanding. It asks us to enter a process of transformation, to let our hearts be opened wide enough to receive a desire far larger than our own.

I have felt that tension deeply in my own life.

As I transition away from leading seminars and accept the real limitations of being seventy-eight years old, it would be easy to fall back into the familiar question: What is God’s will for me now? But Andrew’s wisdom returned to me at just the right moment.

It reminded me that identifying a new role is not the priority and that the invitation is to a deeper participation in God’s desire.

The Aramaic language Jesus spoke offers a beautiful window into this shift.

When we hear the phrase praying in my name, the original word, b’shemya, points to something deeper than the use of a title. It suggests praying within the intimate atmosphere of the divine presence—within its light, feeling, and resonance. It is a way of allowing ourselves to be surrounded and filled by God’s own life.

To live in that resonance is, for me, to live within God’s desire.

And that is my desire.

My daily practice is to use the Prayer of St. Francis
to renew my awareness of God’s Desire:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.

Andrew offers this additional wisdom:

The gentleness of sharing God’s desire might make it look like an easy option, but I find it highly challenging. Sharing God’s desire asks of us nothing short of a total transformation of ourselves as we open our hearts to embrace the expansive desire of God.

Care to join me in making the shift to seeking God’s Desire?

Resource: Marr, Andrew. Moving and Resting in God’s Desire: A Spirituality of Peace. Kindle Edition.

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